this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
