God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The air was thick with penises
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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