do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize