i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
