no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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