Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
