He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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