easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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