I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Pants are for mortals
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
