WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
