Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
