we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
