Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
