If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
