There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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