is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
