and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
