nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
