My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
