Nicole vs. Life
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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