Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize