Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
