The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
