I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
