I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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