I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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