Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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