The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
