And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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