and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
