WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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