I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize