Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I CAN MOONWALK!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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