Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
