Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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