remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
