just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
