to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
