The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Come on in and take your pants off
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