Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
