so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
