I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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