Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize