The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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