I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
