Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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