My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
