even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize