Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
