I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
