He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
