Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
