If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
