Buhtt sex?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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