wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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