Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just want nice things and good sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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