then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
