I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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