Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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