real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
