should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
