Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
