Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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