I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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